I recently divorced one after 20 years (I met him when I was 13 and divorced after ten years of marriage) and getting into another relationship that was the same..only Im 30 weeks pregnant. Weird stuff that I havent experienced before. I cannot explain it. Always playing the victim card. If they happen to run into or see an ex somewhere that they havent thought about in a while, they may do some reconnaissance. How she was never to blame and how I wasnt really her type. What does he want from me? He started putting likes on my posts on Instagram. Youd love it. I was devastated But, funny enough guess where he moved too? But you are not a punching bag, so dont tolerate it. Sad really. Thank you for your kind comment. Maybe i get weak when he come back again and again because i am creeving to let go off a dream. And they are not happy in their new life. Finally Ive found something "There's something quite narcissistic in thinking that the world cares," Kenny says. Now, I am a monster, I was controlling etc. He is not going to leave but when you do change phone number put him on email contact only if you must learn about No Contact and Run!!!!!! Mine caused me two years of terror before divorcing me. 18. As you can imagine, narcissistic jealousy leans more towards the negative side of things. I had left my narc on a not good note. I expressed my discomfort, and he got very upset and said I was being crazy, she was his friend. Mine did the same to me. I thought I had finally gotten over the crazy woman syndrome, and in fact had dated some very cool women over the last several years. Dear all, there is a lot to learn from all of you. I made the mistake of answering that first call two months ago, I wont make it again. proclamations of us even though one has made it clear there is no US (dont know if FREEATLAST did too, but noticed same wording in her exs letter), And then there is, of course, his Christian concern that I be relieved of my bitterness and anger (on the surface sounds like good things)but meanwhile not genuinely acknowledging the tragic and deeply wounding things he did to me to cause any bitterness or anger. And youre further entagling yourself with him/her, with phone service, transportation of sorts, housing, credit commitments, and for the sake of whatever you rush into the commitment, but you take your time getting out, and b4 you know it lots of damage us dun. I just wish it was easier for me to understand her intentions. I broke all contact 4 months after he left and I know he asks about me and watches my social media pages. {{HUGS}}, I have been with a narc or sociopath, I am still learning the subtlety of personality disorders. He gave me 2 STDs and still I was so in love I begged for more. On the anniversary of his mothers death he sent a text to remind me. So please let me know when you get home and I will call you back. He had called me a b*tch more than once, would use things I told him in trust to help win the argument or put me down. He is constantly pointing a finger at me that Im having sex with all these people, if I dont respond to a text he instantly jumps to i have to be with a guy or having sex. This was just a jab in order to do exactly what you describedto hurt you. I see you are able to understand your Ex cognitivelyalthough the experience has left a stamp on your heart. Yet friends are telling me they have never seen him happier. Be Safe Youve made a decision now stick to it for your childs sake too!!!!!! He is bi sexual. `. As a side note, I had a little sexcapade a few days before with a friend, who left a passion mark on my neck and one right where the blouse crisscrossed on my chest that I didnt bother to try to hide. Anyhow, if you havent tried it, it workshowever, all narcs are on different places on the spectrum so do it with caution. He worked on me till he boke me . Narcissists never stop hungering for power, control, and self-gratification. Not an emotional goodbye. You know what hell she put me through. Nothing else mattered. This is not a means for them to get back to you at all. I get it. Either way, you might want to try some of the healing tools here on the site, and check out the suggestions in my recent article, http://letmereach.com/2014/10/06/why-do-i-feel-so-attached-to-my-narcissistic-ex/. I need help connecting my head to my heart. I raged more than him since he drove me crazy at times. Reasons and purpose will be given and the person in the relationship with the Narcissist will see the Narcissist through rose tinted goggles. I think about you all day during work and dream about you all night. The narcissist will attempt to convince you that theyre the best lover youve ever had. And he is happy to get rid of me. We victims should stick together and not pit males against females. Also, relationship between the BPD and NPD. I would appreciate if someone could make this last part clear to mewhat disappeared..? This can happen until the passage of time breaks the chemical bond to them. Are You Not Losing Sleep Wondering Why He Does What He Does? The intention of the N now is to quickly reinvent himself - like a . throughout our relationship, I have caught him talking to other girls on Craigslist (several girls for about 3 months), he tried to take a picture of my friends underskirt under the table when she came to visit me and our son when he was first born. You wont see it coming, it will be a very strategic, and calculated move, and theyll wait until youre at your most vulnerable to attack. I tried to raise issues I had with the relationship (i.e. My narc always told me it was in the house and even offered help to find. This was said after i declined his pathetic offer!! Although it took me completely off-guard, made me very nervous yet very happy and introduced me to some new emotions suddenly, I fell in love with you so hard Im still not sure what to do about it. Keeping you mine. It could go either wayeither he wants you as supply, or he wants revenge and is preparing for a painful and harrowing discard. I was obsessing about him even though my life was going well. I told him to F off and all hope I ever had for him was done. No time or space for other people. So, I think he sees ME as his saving grace. Till this day I do not have prove that this is his way of getting me to contact him, but I have seen a pattern. (Yeah, thats truesick f*ck that he is.) And because you keep taking him back. What did i find? I did..and regretted it of course. I am creeving a lost dream. As I stated, there was no falling out between us. The Ultimate Narcissist Dictionary for Defining Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, What is Hoovering? Omg, we must be the same person because Im mean, Im so mean to him, I treat him like a dog, and I also needed to grow up, this is real life ..not a game he tells me. Of course theres the comments that his life is way better than mine, slotting in sly remarks, but trying to maintain the perfect faade that he is untouchable and the dream partner girls drool over That he truly still loves and cares for me laying on the oozing charm and sympathy tears, wanting only friendship. He figured if he stayed away long enough I would forget his horrible words. I hit the bottom a few months back and have been at the Choice Point for some time. I even ready an article where it asked the partner of a narcissist, Are you sleep deprived? He believes that I should return his devotion because in his mind he has never tried so hard with anyone. He has multiple relationships and always has drama. I receive questions all the time from people who were in relationships with narcissists, and they are the same questions I used to have. He would either claim I was being over-sensitive, change the subject or end up insulting me. He needs to be seen as perfect a all times. it had become so defining, or at least had become a thing that I was constantly engaged with even though my interactions were full of stress depression anger when I went NC I found the emptiness hard to cope with, looking then at my newly ostracized place outside of the community I had up till then freely enjoyed I was now even bereft of the abuser and in a way I was so lonely that I missed even that utterly perverse I know, Now having had this denouement where his approach and my acceptance of it has kind of taken the substance out of my circumstances the definition was clear and easy before I had just felt too that I had come to terms with everything and was getting on getting on. In fact, we end up feeling much worse. Even though, I dont have time right now to go through RodMans comment, here are my thoughts. I have no photos of her in the house, I dont think of her, Im clearing out things she gave me, etc. The torment they endure from narcassism couples with the strength of a very patriarchal religion, you have no idea! Sometimes I miss him (because he was very good to me at times). they were weeping for validation of their love), I decided their words and action no longer hold much weight. Then, since narcissists love using shock value, theyll text you in the middle of the night with the photos with a caption that says something like, what do you think your social media followers would think if a picture like this got leaked to them?. I am being troubled by the narcissist in this exact way I was very surprised to find a message of his in my email system from 01/01/15 and today a week later a text from his number repeating his wish to make a fresh start, Discussing this with some trusted others one of whom commented that this is a good thing, that I should accept this olive branch then they go one to admonish me for saying something along the lines of not in a million years placing me in the wrong and on the defencive you really cant win with these people can you. Im so confused. [] Hoovering Creating the false illusion that he/she is sorry for their cruelty. It is sad because you love her unconditionally. We were like best friends. When i asked him Why and he Said sorry it was a Joke. When she was depressed or on a come down, she would agree. I know for sure that that moments are real. 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